/ / j g p a l a n c a . c o m
Actual Classified Ads

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL -
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

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FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.

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1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer

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AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

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SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

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FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART STUPID DOG

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2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
One 5-finger, One 3-finger, PAIR: $15

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TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS
OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION
$6800

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COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

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83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000

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STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15

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SOFT and GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE
89 cents

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GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

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FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

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FREE 1 CAN OF PORK and BEANS
WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.

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FOR SALE:
LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50

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NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED ***************
CALL CHUBBIE ***************

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BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

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SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS

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FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT A WHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.

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HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

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GET A LITTLE JOHN:
THE TRAVELING URINAL
HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.

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HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB

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GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN -
89 cents lb.

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NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
SLIGHTLY STAINED

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FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.

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AMERICAN FLAG
60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100

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TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

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EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS and BOX SPRINGS -$175.

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OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.

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JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
MUST SELL WASHER and DRYER $300.

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LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.

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ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

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GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

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GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.

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OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE and DONUTS

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KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box

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FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.

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FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer
needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.


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