/ / j g p a l a n c a . c o m
		THE DIFFERENCE Success: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. The Morning: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. Money Management: A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want. Happiness: To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. Marriage Expectations: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. Marriage Decisions: Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed. Marriage and the Future: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. Memories: A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry. Understanding Women: There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage. What a Woman Wants: Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way. The other is to let her have it. Longevity: Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Mistakes: Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing. The Battle: A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Differences Between You and Your Boss When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human. When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative. When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed. When your boss does it, he's being firm. When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original. When you please your boss, you're ass-creeping. When your boss please his boss, he's being co-operative. When you're out of the office, you're wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he's on business. When you have one too many drinks at a social, you're a drunken bum. When your boss does the same, he appreciated women. When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill. When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it 's because he's overworked.
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