/ / j g p a l a n c a . c o m
		Use your best Filipino accent. Tenacious -- Bepor you go out, put on your tenacious. Deposit -- Call da plahmer, deposit is leaking. Splat -- Oh my goodness, my tire splat. Associate -- When I went to da bathroom, associate in da toilet so I plashed it. Beef Stew -- My beeper bees, does yours beef stew? Persuading -- This month is my cousins persuading annibersary. Depressed -- Depressed is da one who leads the mass. Deficit -- Bepore eyou jahmp in da pool, check how deficit. Penis -- Bepore eyou go out and play, penis your homework. Statue -- Oy, Pedro..statue? Candidate -- I ordered too much pood, I think I candidate. This is a Filipino making a long distance phone call.... Operator: AT&T, how may I help you? Pinoy: Heyloow, ay wud like to long distance the pilipins, plis. O: Name of the party you're calling? P: Aybegurpardon? Can you repit agen plis? O: What is the name of the person you are calling? P: Ah yes, tenkyo and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu. O: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling phonetically. P: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali? O: Please spell out the letters compromising the name a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter. P: Yes, tenkyu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I will spell his name foneticali: Elpidio is E as in Elpidio, L as is lpidio, P as in pidio, I as in idio, D as in dio, I as in io, and O as in o. O: Sir, can you please use English words? P: Ah, yes...tenkyu. Abanquel, A as in airport, B as in because, A as in airport agen, N as in enemy, Q as in Cuba, U as in Europe, E as in important, L as in elephant. This is a Filipino in an American coffee shop... Waiter: What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf? Pinoy: No. Big cup!! Big Cup!!! W: What would youlike for your breakfast? P: Hameneggs W: How do you like your eggs sir? P: Yes, Tenkyu. I like dem beri much W: No sir, How would you like them cooked? P: Yes, tenkyu. I like them cooked. W: (With increasing impatience) Would you like your eggs hard or soft boiled, fried, poached? P: (With increasing uneasiness) Yes , one fried en one hard or sop boiled. W: What kind of bread would you like? P: Begyurpardon? W: What kind of bread would you like? White, wheat, rye? P: Pan Americano W: We don't have that. P: Okey, gib me taystee. W: We don't have that either, sir. P: Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete or coco? W: Sir, you are wasting my time. Once again, what would you like for breakfast? P: Donut plis.....
// main | touched by an e-mail // © 2001 jgpalanca all rights reserved